VOLUME 113 NUMBER 5
Kislev 5, 5785
December 6, 2024
Parshas Vayeitzei
Candlelighting Time 4:17
Although literally words themselves do not murder others, however, the power of speech is undeniably true. When Lavan pursued Yaakov to retrieve his idols that Rochel stole, he commented to Lavan that the one who has those idols should die. And as a result of that curse, Rochel died in childbirth when Binyomin was born. Chofetz Chaim points out the strength of a word especially when it is misguided. On the other hand, when the sons had gone to Egypt to procure food and returned without Shimon, even though Yaakov was distraught nonetheless he did not curse the ruler of Egypt for what he did. Of course, if he had perhaps it would have had a negative impact on Yosef and the entire episode in Egypt would have turned out much differently.
However, Maimonides does stress that words can actually kill. He states that slander kills three, the one who spoke, the listener and the one that was the object of the slander. Although the source of Maimonides is not evident however, we do know from incidents in our history that indeed the destructiveness of verbal assault is incontrovertible. As an example, when King Saul was informed that the city of Nov was concealing David, the future king of Israel but not yet in that position, he ruled that they were rebelling against his monarchy and therefore he executed them. Certainly not pleasant to remember however, it is important to note. Maimonides further points out that the listener is the bigger offender of the slander. This statement requires an explanation because the assumption would be that the person slandering the victim is the one who deserves the most blame.
Perhaps the reason is because the one listening gives credibility to the speaker thereby verifying the victim’s guilt. Even if he doesn’t truly believe what is being stated, nonetheless, that is not evident and therefore the victim is not absolved. Even if afterwards, someone defends him Chofetz Chaim in his magnus opus on the laws of slander clearly understands that once a person’s reputation has been besmirched, it is difficult to reinstate his innocence. Whereas if the speaker has been initially silenced then the entire episode would not have begun.
On the other hand, speech can be used in an extremely helpful and productive manner. We know that when someone is praised not only is he happy but additionally he is encouraged to progress and accomplish more. Positive reinforcement is a well know remedy to motivate students and even adults who lack self-confidence.
Perhaps the most important and advantageous point that one could make regarding speaking nicely about others is that comradery breeds unity and the unification of our nation is one of our strongest features. The Midrash states about Achav who was a wicked king that when they went to war, they always won. Why did Hashem allow an evil king to be so successful? The answer is that people during his reign only spoke positively and nicely about others. Despite the fact that Achav was despicable nonetheless Hashem ‘smiled’ upon that generation due to its massive amalgamation. Therefore, we need to focus on that type of conduct which serves to place us in Hashem’s favor!
A BYTE FOR SHABBOS
Even though Yaakov was promised by Hashem that he would return safely to his father’s home, still he vowed that if he returns safely he will build an altar and tithe his earnings. It is important for a person to validate Hashem’s guarantees because it strengthens the individual.
S’FAS EMES
GOOD SHABBOS
