Jewish Joke of the Week: The Secret to Long Life

Jewish Joke of the Week

This week’s joke comes courtesy of the fabulous Sal Litvak, whom we recently had the pleasure of hosting for Shabbat. Many of you know Sal as “The Accidental Talmudist,” where he shares wisdom, inspiration, and plenty of great Jewish humor.

Here’s a fun one from Sal: The Secret To Long Life

An 80 year old man goes in for a checkup.

The doctor says, “I’m amazed. How do you keep in such great shape?”

Guy says, “I’m a Jewish golfer. I get up before dawn, I pray, I play 18 holes, I have my schnapps. All is well.”

The Bigger Piece

Sparks of Torah

When the people were offering the Pesach sacrifice there were those that were defiled after having been in contact with corpses. They came to Moshe and exclaimed that they wanted desperately to bring the Pesach offering but were unable to due to their circumstances. Moshe did not respond to them rather he just waited for Hashem to transmit the halacha in this situation.

Our Second Wedding

Sparks of Torah

The Mishkan was a highly celebrated event in the nation. It was the culmination of months of hard work after a very successful fundraising campaign that covered all the expenses necessary for its construction. The Torah compares its completion as that of a bride, a kallah, entering into the chupah, the wedding canopy, with her bridegroom, the choson.

The Buffer Zone

Sparks of Torah

   The Talmud states that we read the parsha of Bechukosai before Shavuos in order that the curses and downfalls of the year end before the New Year. Although we don’t view Shavuos as a Rosh Hashanah however, we are judged pertaining to the produce that will be forthcoming at this time of the year.

One Massive Cholent

Sparks of Torah

We live in a world of variance. Today’s Klal Yisroel consists of so many dissimilarities of customs, mode of dress, expressions, even differences in halacha. Perhaps one might think that we have fragmented and lost our common bond.

Jewish Joke of the Week: Are you Comfortable?

Jewish Joke of the Week

Murray Feldman, a retired accountant from Cherry Creek who still insists on wearing a tie to the grocery store, is crossing the street when a car clips him and sends him sprawling onto the pavement.

Within seconds, there’s a whole sidewalk minyan gathered around him. One woman is yelling, “Call 911!” Another is offering him a protein bar. Somebody else is somehow already blaming the traffic on Colorado Boulevard.