Jewish Joke of the Week: Brisket to Pieces
Moishe and Miriam sat down for dinner after a long day. Miriam brought out a beautiful brisket, sliced it carefully, and placed two pieces on the serving platter, one noticeably…
Let’s Talk
The halacha is that only a Kohen can pronounce the impurity of Tzora’as upon either a person, his clothing or his home. Nonetheless, when the Torah mentions that one’s house can be infected with the spiritual impurity of Tzora’as the owner approaches the Kohen and states that it appears as though a sign of Tzora’as has been noticed.
Jewish Joke of the Week: The Engineer and his Rabbi
An aerospace company is building a next-generation fighter jet… and every single test ends the same way: the wings snap clean off mid-flight.
They try everything. Stronger alloys. New structural designs. Reinforcements. Nothing works.
The chief engineer, running on fumes and coffee, goes to his rabbi. “Rabbi, I’m out of ideas. We’ve tried everything. Every test… same failure, same exact spot.”
The rabbi leans in. “Same place every time?”
“Every time.”
The rabbi strokes his beard. “Can I come see it?”
To Be or Not To Be
One of the most special sacrifices is that of the burnt offering. The entire animal is consumed on the altar, obviously an indication of absolute and exclusive consideration to serve Hashem. Only the outer skin, the hide is not given to Hashem but rather presented to the Kohanim, the priests, our representatives in the Mishkan and the Beis Hamikdash.
Jewish Joke(s) of the Week: A Very Punny Passover List
There are two kinds of people at a Seder: the ones who come for the meaning… and the ones who come prepared with terrible jokes.
This year, we’re embracing both.
Scroll on. Bring these to your Seder.
Just don’t blame us when the eye rolls start.
What did one Seder plate say to the other? “Dinner is on me!”
Ascending Forever
Nachmonides on the other hand explains that this beginning verse in Vayikra is a continuation of the end of parshas Pekudei. There the Torah states that the Cloud of Hashem enveloped the Mishkan both from the outer perimeter and even the interior of the Mishkan was infused with the glory of Hashem.
Jewish Joke of the Week: The Knight
A Jewish man is being knighted by the Queen of England. It’s a huge honor, and he’s carefully briefed on the ceremony. When he kneels before the Queen, he’s supposed to recite a short phrase in Latin to complete the knighting.
So he practices. And practices. Weeks of practice. Latin flashcards. Saying it in the mirror. Saying it in the car. By the time the ceremony arrives, he’s sure he has it down perfectly.
Ready or Not
We know that the nation traveled under the guidance of the special clouds that surrounded it. They were not allowed to go forward unless they were directed so by Hashem through the clouds. The Torah further states that if the clouds did not begin their preparatory formation to leave, then the people did not prepare to leave either. That we followed the clouds’ direction is clearly stated at the very end of sefer Shemos.
Jewish Joke of the Week: Stranded
Jewish Joke of the Week: Stranded
Moishe, Samuel, and Harry are driving through the desert when their car breaks down. With no cell service and the nearest town miles away, they decide they’ll have to walk.
Each one takes something from the car for the journey.
Making Ends Meet
Klal Yisroel made donations for the construction of the Mishkan and also for purchasing sacrifices. There was a specific amount to be given for the offerings, a half shekel. The Torah clearly states that each and every individual must give the exact same amount.