Category Archives: Jewish Joke of the Week

Jewish Joke of the Week: The Secret to Long Life

This week’s joke comes courtesy of the fabulous Sal Litvak, whom we recently had the pleasure of hosting for Shabbat. Many of you know Sal as “The Accidental Talmudist,” where he shares wisdom, inspiration, and plenty of great Jewish humor.

Here’s a fun one from Sal: The Secret To Long Life

An 80 year old man goes in for a checkup.

The doctor says, “I’m amazed. How do you keep in such great shape?”

Guy says, “I’m a Jewish golfer. I get up before dawn, I pray, I play 18 holes, I have my schnapps. All is well.”

Jewish Joke of the Week: My Back Hurts

Bernie had a complaint for everyone.

“My back hurts.” “My knees hurt.” “I can’t sleep.”

“The doctor doesn’t know what’s wrong.”

After months of listening to this, his wife finally dragged him to a specialist.

The specialist ordered every test imaginable.

Jewish Joke of the Week: Dreams

Moshe sits down in his psychiatrist’s office looking exhausted.

“Doctor,” he says, “I had the strangest dream last night. I was talking to my mother, and everything seemed normal… until I suddenly realized she had your face.”

The psychiatrist leans forward. “My face?”

Jewish Joke of the Week: The Hat

Jewish Joke of the Week: The Hat On a very windy day, a rabbi’s hat blew right off his head and went tumbling down the street.A young man saw what…

Jewish Joke of the Week: Are you Comfortable?

Murray Feldman, a retired accountant from Cherry Creek who still insists on wearing a tie to the grocery store, is crossing the street when a car clips him and sends him sprawling onto the pavement.

Within seconds, there’s a whole sidewalk minyan gathered around him. One woman is yelling, “Call 911!” Another is offering him a protein bar. Somebody else is somehow already blaming the traffic on Colorado Boulevard.

Jewish Joke of the Week: The Rough Cab Ride

Daniel flags down a cab late at night after a long day. He slides into the back seat, gives an address across town, and the driver, a guy named Mike, nods and pulls away.

For the first few minutes, everything is smooth. Quiet streets, steady driving, soft music on the radio. Daniel leans back, finally relaxing.

About ten minutes in, Daniel realizes he forgot to ask how long the ride will take. So he leans forward and lightly taps Mike on the shoulder.

Jewish Joke of the Week: Brisket to Pieces

Moishe and Miriam sat down for dinner after a long day. Miriam brought out a beautiful brisket, sliced it carefully, and placed two pieces on the serving platter, one noticeably…

Jewish Joke of the Week: The Engineer and his Rabbi

An aerospace company is building a next-generation fighter jet… and every single test ends the same way: the wings snap clean off mid-flight.

They try everything. Stronger alloys. New structural designs. Reinforcements. Nothing works.

The chief engineer, running on fumes and coffee, goes to his rabbi. “Rabbi, I’m out of ideas. We’ve tried everything. Every test… same failure, same exact spot.”

The rabbi leans in. “Same place every time?”

“Every time.”

The rabbi strokes his beard. “Can I come see it?”

Jewish Joke(s) of the Week: A Very Punny Passover List

There are two kinds of people at a Seder: the ones who come for the meaning… and the ones who come prepared with terrible jokes.

This year, we’re embracing both.
Scroll on. Bring these to your Seder.
Just don’t blame us when the eye rolls start.

What did one Seder plate say to the other? “Dinner is on me!”

Jewish Joke of the Week: The Knight

A Jewish man is being knighted by the Queen of England. It’s a huge honor, and he’s carefully briefed on the ceremony. When he kneels before the Queen, he’s supposed to recite a short phrase in Latin to complete the knighting.

So he practices. And practices. Weeks of practice. Latin flashcards. Saying it in the mirror. Saying it in the car. By the time the ceremony arrives, he’s sure he has it down perfectly.