A man arrives at a Shabbaton in the mountains and asks the rabbi, “Rabbi, why do we have to come all the way up here to feel closer to God?”
The rabbi smiles. “Sometimes we need to get away from the noise and distractions of everyday life to hear what really matters.”
The man thinks for a moment, then asks:
Two friends were talking about their upcoming Shabbaton in the mountains.
“I’ve packed my Shabbat clothes, comfortable shoes, a sweater, and three suitcases.”
“Three suitcases?! We’re only going for two nights!”
For weeks, Morris had been suffering from a mysterious and rather alarming medical condition. Every morning, he’d sit down at the kitchen table, pour himself a fresh cup of coffee, take a sip, and immediately feel a sharp, stabbing pain in his right eye.
At first, he ignored it. But after several weeks, he decided it was time to see a doctor.
David builds a sukkah on the balcony of his apartment. His landlord is furious, claiming it violates the lease, and takes him to court.
The landlord tells the judge that the sukkah is ugly, unsafe, and a fire hazard.
David explains that building and dwelling in a sukkah for the holiday of Sukkot is a Jewish religious obligation dating back thousands of years.
Jewish Joke of the Week: The Newest Technology This week’s laugh comes courtesy of our friend Sal Litvak, also known as The Accidental Talmudist, who has graciously given us permission to share some of his favorite jokes with you! Max and Benny are golf buddies in Boca. On the first tee, Max says, “I got a…
A family sits down for Rosh Hashanah dinner. The table is beautifully set, the food smells incredible, and everyone is more than ready to eat.
Just as they’re about to begin, the mother says, “Wait! Before we eat, I thought it would be meaningful to go around the table and have everyone share one thing they hope for in the new year.”
A Jewish man looks at his calendar and says: “Wait, Rosh Hashanah is coming up already?”
His wife says, “Yes.”
“And then Yom Kippur?”
“Yes.”
“And then Sukkot?”
A man walks into a Jewish community event and asks the person at the door:
“Is there going to be food?”
“Of course.”
“Wine?”
“Absolutely.”
“Cheese?”
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him sitting at the table playing chess with his dog.
He stopped in the doorway and watched in absolute astonishment. The dog was sitting upright in a chair, studying the board, moving pieces with his paw, and apparently making some pretty good moves.
After a few minutes, the visitor couldn’t contain himself.
Two old friends, Isaac and Shmuel, are sitting across from each other in a cramped train compartment on the long ride from New York to Chicago.
For the first hour, neither says a word.
The second hour passes. Still, silence.
By the third hour, Shmuel finally looks out the window, shakes his head sadly, and lets out a deep, world-weary sigh.
“Oy…”